6 Valuable Things I've Learned From Being Vulnerable

6 Valuable Things I've Learned From Being Vulnerable

 
Illustration by  Stephanie Deangelis

Illustration by Stephanie Deangelis

 

 

 

 

Facing vulnerability and turning it into something positive
has been a work in progress for the introvert within me.

By taking baby steps into my fears and getting through to the other side, I've become better friends with that vulnerable part of myself.

 

 

Here are 6 things I've learned so far on my journey:

 
 

 

1. Fear is a Feeling, Not a Fact.

We're all familiar with that pit in your gut, the sweaty palms, the "oh my god I think I'm going to be sick" kind of feeling. The more you realize that fear is only a feeling, the more you can control it. I've found that simply acknowledging that fear is there like, "oh hey, it's you again" has helped me embrace it. Whether you're about to give a speech, or tell someone you love them for the first time- simply be in the moment, take a deep breath and take fear along for the ride. If you can shift your perspective to a more positive place, use fear as your energy to take action. Because at the end of the day, if you pursue everything with love, you'll always win.

 

2. Intuition is the Universe Speaking to You.

Have you ever had a strong impulse to do something, but then you wait too long to act on it and then suddenly you're caught in this thought cloud of worry? I believe these impulses are messages from something greater than us, giving us the next step to becoming more of who we want to be. The 5-second rule by Mel Robbins, a relationship expert, has completely changed the game for me. Simply acting on that impulse within 5 seconds of receiving it has all of the energy you need to get up and go do that thing you're terrified to do. Don't give yourself a chance to second-guess or question yourself, because you will only find yourself in the same place again, and again. You can dive deeper into this idea from her TEDx Talk: How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over.

 

3. most of our WORRIES Never BECOME REALITY.

“My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.” - Michel de Montaigne. Our minds can sometimes go to places that are hard to escape. I am an expert worrier and sometimes being in my own head with thoughts like "Is this look too much?", "What if they think I'm a creep?!", or a classic, "Oh god I have a headache!" *looks at WebMD* can be too much. With more practice, it gets easier to quiet that little voice in your head. Through meditation, yoga and simply just dedicating time to being disconnected, I've been able to climb over to the other side of worry. Honestly it's worth it. Less worry, less stress, thus less Montaigne moments we'll experience. 

 

4. Rejection Becomes Less Scary.

Whether it's rejection or failure you're hiding from, they're both equally intimidating. The silver lining is this: Rejection teaches us what we don't want so that we can learn what we do. If you can recall all of the times you've been rejected, would you ever go back and change it? Think about it- without it, we wouldn't have direction or growth. So the next time that you get a "no", respond with a "next". Keep moving forward and you'll see that you didn't go through all of that trouble for nothing.

 

5. asking for help gets you ahead.

Growing up in school I was never one to raise my hand in class. In fact, I would always get nervous to ask questions for the fear of embarrassing myself. Every now and then I'll catch myself with the same feeling in many different situations. Looking at it from a distance, it seems so silly. Asking for help not only gives you more knowledge about the situation, it also gives you an opportunity to bond with other people. And we all know what they say about assuming... Well, it's true. Asking gives you all the power you need in the moment and will leave you with no regrets.

 

 

“Vulnerability is the birthplace

of innovation, creativity and change.”

 

- Brené Brown

 

 

6. You'll Grow.

I feel like I might've mentioned this already, but there is truth in this. In the end, being vulnerable gives you the power to grow into the person you want to become. It's okay to let down your walls, wear your heart on your sleeve, and to live each day to the utmost authenticity of your being. You deserve a life that is true to your own and you do not have to apologize to anyone for it. We are all out here doing our best. Just let go and let the magic happen. 

 

 
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